1/2/19, 11:13 am
Mike
The sentence below gives a clue to a certain word 5 times. 
What is the word?

The detective, on reviewing a photo showing 
a machine hidden in a silent forest, realized it was operating 
even now and he would not stand for it.
 
1/3/19, 7:03 pm
Mike
Take a look at this. Target thinks I am a pretty awesome guy. 
Why wouldn't they? I am - totally.



1/3/19, 7:49 pm
Mike
Have you ever seen a dog with James Brown moves?
You have now.


1/5/19, 4:14 pm
Mike


1/5/19, 10:16 pm
Allan
Cool guys!

1/6/19, 9:03 pm
Mike
I just thought of a riddle that's not very nice. Do you 
want to hear it? If you don't want to hear it don't read 
any further. 

What do you call an ugly old woman who 
is of more than one nationality? 

A mixed bag. 
BADABOOM!

1/8/19, 10:14 pm
Mike
Why is Trump's spikeswoman, Kelly Ann Conway, in such 
great shape? 
Because she spends so much time walking back 
Trump's statements.
Mike
* spokeswoman

1/9/19, 12:08 am
Mike
Dang, I take a short walk to the mailbox and back and my
chair has been usurped by a couple of scoundrels.
Outsmarted again!


1/11/19, 12:19 am
Mike
My New riddle: What type of vehicle designed with a high center of
gravity serves as a bad example? 
Roll model. Bada boom!

1/11/19, 1:51 pm
Mike
Another new riddle: Why did the judge throw the auto mechanic's
case out of court? 
Because he came to court with unclean hands.

1/12/19, 9:46 pm
Mike
New puzzle: The answer is two words that are the same: 
The crew that disinfects the benches for a court.

1/13/19, 10:40 am
Allan
Bleachers bleachers. I'm a genius.

Mike
You are definently a genius

Mike
I need to make my riddles and puzzles harder.

1/14/19, 11:13 am
Mike
OK smart guy. Try this one: The answer is four words that 
rhyme. Sid's grandfathers' reconciler's jeweler tools



1/14/19, 1:49 pm
Allan
I think that would be Caeser's geezer's appeaser's tweezers.

1/14/19, 3:04 pm
Mike
What?? Are you hacking into my computer to get your answers? 
You must be!
I thought you would probably get it but I didn't know you 
would get it so quickly. You are amazing.

1/14/19, 3:31 pm
Allan
It's because I'm four years older.

1/16/19, 12:50 am
Mike
Why didn't the cattail ever want to have fun? 
Because it was a stick in the mud.

1/17/19, 12:51 pm
Mike
I think I just thought of one you won't get. 
What does the following have in common with a 
function of a smartphone?
"Except for one, all of the taverns in my town 
have gone out of business."

1/17/19, 1:51 pm
Allan
What's a smartphone? I know, I'm old and stupid . . . but . . .

1/17/19, 2:10 pm
Mike
A cellphone.

1/17/19, 3:56 pm
Mike
I just made up a new recipe. It's called "Mike's easy sticky rice."
Just cook your rice too long, and then let it sit for a little while.. 
WAH LAH! Enjoy.

1/17/19, 5:06 pm
Mike
A ram to his mate: 
"My life is shear hell, but I wooly don't care. 
What say ewe? Let's do a toast...... "Shears"

1/18/19, 9:52 am
Allan
Since I have no idea what a smartphone/cellphone does, 
I'll never figure that one out!

1/18/19, 10:40 am
Mike
I finally got ya! That's what you get for being 25 years behind the 
times. The answer is "I only have one bar." Cellphones often show 
a bar graph that tells you how much of your battery you have left 
so you will know when you need to charge it.

Mike
The forties called. They want their rotary dial phone back.

1/18/19, 11:09 am
Allan
I would never have gotten that in 74 years. Or a million.

Mike
That's only true if, for a million years, you decided to be a hermit & 
never to learn about or take advantage of technological advances. 
You old dinosaur.

Mike
Allan you know I'm just kidding you. But I think you would really 
like having a smartphone. You like being on the computer a lot and 
having a smartphone is a computer that you can use anywhere you are. 
It is really handy. And you can use them with earphones so you don't 
have to worry about being hard of hearing. Why don't you look into 
it a little bit?

1/18/19, 12:15 pm
Mike
I resisted getting a cell phone for a long time myself. But when I did, 
I was very glad. Lots of people, like me, don't even have a landline. 
Maybe you could look into how much you're paying every month for 
your landline and compare it to the cost of a cell phone monthly charge.

1/18/19, 12:32 pm
Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDx907b5v4Y&feature=share
Mike McCollum & Lou Mannick performing Choo Choo Ch'Boogie
youtube.com

1/18/19, 1:01 pm
Allan


1/18/19, 8:55 pm
Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0ukONZDgAE&feature=share
CAT SEES HIS OWNER WHO DIED YEARS AGO AND 
CAN'T HOLD IT IN WHEN HE SEES THE VIDEO
youtube.com

1/18/19, 9:42 pm
Mike
This video made me cry.

1/18/19, 11:26 pm
Allan

1/26/19, 12:37 pm

Mike
The five answers are all three letter words and have the same 
two consonants. 
A gesture of praise is nice but it won't pay the bills. 
You can do this at the zoo. 
Situating chickens face-to-face. 
It used to lead to severe penalties. 
The Olympic game makes one's head spin.

1/26/19, 2:20 pm
Allan
tip, pet, pit, pot, top?

1/26/19, 3:21 pm
Mike
Wow!! You did it again! They are not all the answers that I meant, 
but they work for the formula I gave you. You are amazing. 
The different answers that I had were pat instead of tip. As in a pat 
on the back. And "put" as in shot put for the last one. However, now 
I realize that was a really bad clue because it's not the shot putters 
that spin around, it's the discus throwers. Sorry. Your answer was 
no better though. I don't think top spinning is an Olympic event. 
We both failed on that one.

1/26/19, 3:36 pm
Allan
You need to do more research: 

Top games (spinning top Olympics)
youtube.com

1/26/19, 6:17 pm
Mike
I stand corrected.

Mike
Allan, do you remember Uncle Sam had a tops collection? Do you 
remember that Mom & Grammy were members of TOPS?

1/26/19, 8:58 pm
Mike
Look. I got 8 pairs of reading glasses for $9.99. And they 
threw in a pair of peach- colored sun glasses. Nice!


1/27/19, 10:18 am
Mike
Why was the boy who ate the toys found in his Cracker Jacks so 
unpredictable? 
Because he was full of surprises.


1/27/19, 12:46 pm
Allan
Oy.
TOPS! Yes, I remember.

Mike
It's your lucky day. When was the last time you got five jokes in one? 
Five! Count 'em: Donald Trump is tops in my book. 
1. Everything he says is spin. 
2. He's spinning out of control. 
3. Yeah - Topsy Turvy. 
4. He tops out at about 300 pounds. 
5. He tops the narcissus chart. 
You're welcome.

1/27/19, 1:07 pm
Allan
Take Off President Sensibly.

Mike
Excellent one!

Allan
I meant to write Take OUT President Sensibly!

Mike
Do you mean you'd like to take him out like out to dinner. Why?

1/27/19, 11:01 pm
Allan
I'm gay.

1/28/19, 5:52 pm
Mike
You will never guess what I am doing. I am getting what's 
called an ESA letter that provides that my cats are ESAs 
(Emotional Service Animals). When I have the legitimate 
letter, my cats will not be considered as mere pets, but 
ESA's and exempt from "no pets" lease provisions. A landlord 
cannot restrict a person from having an ESA under the federal 
Fair Housing Act. And they cannot charge pet deposits or any 
other additional fees. I think I am likely to be considered
qualified because I have a long history of anxiety and 
depression and I'm 70 years old and live alone. One more 
thing. It is legitimate. I notice a very different feeling 
I have now since I got my cats. I like to come home now 
and I don't feel down in the dumps because I'm always 
alone. They really are working for me in a very positive 
way emotionally.

1/28/19, 10:24 pm
Allan
You are so involved in tenant issues! Boy, me too. I have 
a friend who got a letter from a psychologist telling her 
landlord that her little dog was an ESA, and the landlord 
in turn made her put the dog's NAME on the lease. When 
the dog died, of course, this was to be an issue - so she 
found another dog that looked just like the first one and 
gave it the same name! I'm sorry that you're depressed! 
Me too, much of the time.

1/28/19, 11:07 pm
Mike

Is that story really true? Sounds more like a Seinfeld 
episode. My theory is that when you're way smarter than 
everyone else it's naturally depressing because people 
can't relate to us in any meaningful way. Normal people 
are too stupid to realize they should be depressed so they're 
not depressed because they're so freakin' stupid. It's a 
perfect example of a total Catch 22. So simple.  -1

Mike
Allan, is this real or a joke? Roxana, is this real or is it a joke? Watch 
"POLICE OFFICER GOT KNOCKED OUT BY A UNKNOWN MAN!" 
on YouTube https://youtu.be/vkj2n2HLM6A
POLICE OFFICER GOT KNOCKED OUT BY A UNKNOWN MAN!
youtube.com

1/29/19, 10:39 am
Mike
My perfect solution for the illegal alien problem. Whenever in illegal is
caught in this country or caught trying to cross the border they are given 
a GPS implant with a timer and a small explosive device. Once they are 
kicked out of our country, if they return, it sets off the GPS device and 
timer and they have 24 hours to get out of the country or else a small
explosion will occur within the interior of their body and they will drop 
dead immediately. Any attempt to remove the implant will also cause 
the interior explosion with the same result. Problem solved.

2/1/19, 3:05 pm
Allan
You need to apply for a patent.

2/2/19, 11:49 pm
Mike
Allan, I am watching a Netflix series called "Black Earth Rising." 
The trimmed bushes in this scene remind me a whole lot of 
your perfect vehicles.


2/3/19, 4:56 pm
Allan
I should be so green!

2/3/19, 5:20 pm
Mike
I remember you described your perfect vehicles as sentry standing guard. 
I think that's what you may have said but it was a long time ago. 
Those bushes remind me of guards, the way they were trimmed.
Enter

2/4/19, 12:51 am
Mike
If our uncle were alive today, what kind of smartphone 
would he want? 
Samsung. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!

2/4/19, 2:41 pm
Allan
Oh brother.

Mike
Oh brother.

Mike McCollum sent you an invite to join Messenger.


2/5/19, 8:24 pm
Mike

Allan, I think you will get this puzzle quickly. 
You can say these same things in other ways that 
always include the same word. What's the word? 
It's OK with me. Just forget it. Show some courtesy. 
That is really annoying so can you stop? 
I'm having a tough time deciding. 
He is crazy. Stay in your lane. 
He doesn't manage the business. 
Athletes need the will to win. 
I'm thinking seriously about doing it.

2/5/19, 9:31 pm
Allan
It's OK with me. I'm up for it. 
Just forget it. Give it up. 
Show some courtesy. Lighten up. 
That is really annoying so can you stop? Don't keep it up.
I'm having a tough time deciding. Does it have to be up to me? 
He is crazy. He's fucked up. 
Stay in your lane. Straighten up. 
He doesn't manage the business. It's not up to him. 
Athletes need the will to win. Never give up. 
I'm thinking seriously about doing it. I'm up to it.

2/5/19, 10:11 pm
Mike
Those answers dont have the word I thought of but 
they work! Good job! My answer is "mind."
I think you will be able save the puzzle with my word too.

2/5/19, 11:49 pm
Mike
1. I dont mind
2. Never mind. 3. Mind your manners. 4. Do you mind? 
5. I can't make up my mind. 6. He's out of his mind. 
7. Mind your own business. 8. He doesn't mind the store. 
9. Where ther's a will ther's a way. 10. I have a mind to do it.

Mike
Sorry Number 9 is "mind over matter."

2/6/19, 12:28 am
Allan
Clearly you've made your mind up.

2/6/19, 2:08 am
Mike
Darn! I forgot to include that phrase in my puzzle.

2/7/19, 12:59 pm
Mike
How about this?: The Devil's playground. And "Start using 
the mental faculties that God gave you!"

2/7/19, 4:47 pm
Mike
Philosophical Question I made up: 
Man A slaps man B in the face. 
Man B slaps man A back in the face 
with equal force. 
Most people would say they are even. 
I say they are not even. 
What do you say?

Mike
I say they aren't even until Man B 
slaps Man A again.

2/7/19, 5:47 pm
Allan
Is Man B an old man named Michael Finnegan?

2/7/19, 6:09 pm
Mike
Nope. After Man A slapped Man B, he had the 
unadulterated pleasure of knowing he was one up 
on Man B. So Man B has to slap Man A twice 
to feel that same pleasure and that will make them 
even. Does it all make sense to you now?

2/7/19, 6:52 pm
Allan
I'll have to beginnigan.

Mike
The only way a boxer can get even is when he and his opponent 
knock each other out at the same time. And, that has happened. 
You'll find several videos showing that very thing.

Mike McCollum sent you an invite to join Messenger.

Missed video chat
9:48 PM

2/8/19, 1:14 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. I just got a Facebook message that you missed my video 
chat. How could you? I think I know why you did. Because I didn't
know I had even initiated a video chat with anyone. I wonder what 
it was about? I don't even know how to initiate a video chat. 
I better be more careful on Facebook.

2/12/19, 7:42 pm
Mike

Mike  is waving at you!

Mike
What did the guy say after diischarging some saliva onto his twin 
brother? "If I'm called a spittin' image, then I'm gonna be a spittin' image."

2/15/19, 10:16 am
Mike

Damn! This doesn't look very promising.

2/15/19, 3:09 pm
Mike

Doctor: "Thankfully the arrow only caused minor injury." 
Patient: "Point well taken." Doctor: "Exactly."


2/15/19, 5:37 pm
Mike

Oil worker: "Sir, our lead oil reservoir was stolen!" 
Boss: "Point well taken." Oil worker: "Exactly!"

2/15/19, 6:11 pm
Allan
ha

2/18/19, 5:21 pm
Mike

I'm feeling a little old today.

2/18/19, 8:04 pm
Allan
Little? You seem taller.

Mike
You must be wondering "Why the long face?"

2/18/19, 9:21 pm
Allan
Said the bartender to the horse.

Mike
Exactly.

2/19/19, 12:52 am
Mike
I'm watching a good movie with Rachel Weisz. Eat your 

2/21/19, 10:38 am
Mike
What was the chant at the voyeurs' rally? 
"By the peephole, of the peephole, and for the peephole! 
POWER TO THE PEEPHOLE"

2/28/19, 12:34 pm
Mike

Mike is waving at you!
What do you call a resting predator who doesn't speak truth in Africa?

Mike
A lyin' lyin' lion lyin'

3/3/19, 1:04 am
Allan
hmmm

3/7/19, 4:19 pm

Mike is waving at you!

Mike
"President Trump, What do you think of the Paul Manafort sentencing?" 
"Paul Mana who?"

3/8/19, 4:03 pm
Allan
Paul Manofart.

3/8/19, 4:52 pm
Mike
I should have known you would come up with that one. 
I'm cracking up!

3/8/19, 7:26 pm
Mike
I have a new big crush on Natasha Bertrand a news 
reporter at NBC. So freaking beautiful and smart. 
Smart is very sexy to me and she's 27 years old. 
Oh my achey breaky heart!


3/9/19, 12:04 am
Allan
A pretty little weather girl?

Mike
No. A politics reporter.
xs
3/12/19, 10:21 am
Mike

Mike  is waving at you!

Mike
Two words sounding the same are the answers: Directors triumphed. 
Built a well. First piece of decking. Indifferent woman. Don't do this 
on a Boeing 737 Max 8.

3/12/19, 9:53 pm
Allan
Cohens co-won. She tunneled a funnel and got her water. A step-one 
step-on. The bored broad was a who-care hooker and a give-a-damn 
madam. Don't play on plane.

3/12/19, 10:34 pm
Mike
What??? Have you been drinking? You're cracking me up.

3/12/19, 11:41 pm
Allan
I figured my wrong answers should be brilliant.

Allan
So even Cohen co-won was wrong? I was guessing that one and the 
step-on step-one were right.

Mike
Now that WAS funny! But now I can't tell if you're kidding me or not. 
Jeremy got the answers immediately and you always get the answers. 
So just in case you didn't, here are the answers: 
Board won. 
Bored one. 
Board one.
Bored one. 
Board one.

Allan
OH! I thought each answer had to have two sound-alike words! 
You have to explain things better!!

Allan
PLUS, why is a "bored one" necessarily a Woman??

Mike
They all do have two sound a like words. I repeat: 
Have you been drinking?

Allan
No. But I've lost some sleep, haha.

Mike
The bored one is not necessarily a woman. 
I just did that to throw you off.

Allan
NO, I thought each answer would have two 
DIFFERENT sound-alike words. Like 
peace piece and then ball bawl or whatever.

Allan
Maybe YOU bore women. I don't.

Allan
So the answer could have been "Meh" Ma.

Mike
OK Now I see what you're saying. I agree with you. I have to describe the 
answers better. I promise I will do better next time so you won't have a cow.

Allan
Hahaha

Allan
And, just an aside: If you haven't seen the Cohen brothers 
"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" on Netflix, see it!! They win!

Mike
OK I've been wondering about that one. I like the actor 
who I think plays the lead.

Allan
There are a number of different stories, with different
leads in the film. It's wonderful. The Cohen Brothers 
are a treasure.

Allan
A pleasure treasure.

Mike
They make great movies. Did you ever see what I think 
might have been their 1st movie called "Blood Simple?" 
It was awesome.

Allan
Yes, I've seen it like 3 or 4 times. 

Mike
How about Fargo? So good. I've seen it a bunch.

Allan
Me too. I love that woman.

Allan
I went out with a woman for a while who reminded 
me of Frances McDormand!

Mike
She was really good in Mississippi Burning with 
Willem Defoe and Gene Hackman.

Allan
I don't think I've seen that! Is it on Netflix?

Mike
I've seen Mississippi burning probably almost 10 . 
It is really really good.
It might be on Netflix. I'm not sure.

Allan
OK, I'll seek it out! Haha, I love Willem Defoe 
and Gene Hackman also!

Mike
I will see any movie with Gene Hackman.

Allan
Good idea, yep.

Allan
Mississippi Burning isn't on Netflix, but I can watch it 
on Amazon Prime. Thanks for the recommendation! 
Sleep well!

Mike
Goodnight Allan.


Allan


3/13/19, 10:25 pm
Mike
Allan last night after you told me that Mississippi Burning was on Amazon 
Prime, I watched it again. Umpteenth time. It's pretty long and every time 
I see it I see new things.

3/14/19, 12:56 pm
Mike
What happened when the cosmetologist's eyebrow maintenance procedure 
was to burn them off? 
Razed a few eyebrows.


3/15/19, 3:19 pm
Mike
A full bowl of food in the kitchen but of course my cat 
Treaty would rather do this.



3/16/19, 2:56 pm
Mike
Why was the thief so good at burglarizing his neighbor 
from the road running behind their homes? 
Because it was right up his alley.

Mike
Knock Knock. 
Who's there? 
Luka Whey. 
Luka Whey who? 
Luka Whey & I'll sucker punch ya. 
LIGHTS OUT!

3/17/19, 1:14 am
Mike
Philosophical murder question. 
What if you plan on murdering somebody by running
them off the road pushing them over a cliff. So you get 
behind the car and you do the deed. But it turns out 
someone had borrowed the person's car that you wanted 
to kill and you killed the wrong person. Is it murder?

Or is it an accident and you would get charged 
with negligent manslaughter? Or something else? 
It was an accident cause you really didn't mean 
to kill that person.

3/17/19, 12:41 pm
Allan
When are you going to get your degree in law?

Mike
I'm working on becoming an honorary attorney 
without having to go to school. Maybe I can be 
grandfathered in because I'm so freaking smart.

Mike
If Biden runs I'm voting for president I'm voting 
for him him, notwithstanding he's a kiddie groper. 
It sounds like he's going to get in the race. have 
always liked him and I think he stands the best 
chance of beating Trump. But, anything can 
happen within 500+ days.

3/17/19, 10:52 pm
Mike
Here is an answer to my question about the crime. 
If someone kills someone while committing a felony, 
I think it's considered murder. So even if the victim was 
accidentally killed. It's MURDER!

Mike
What better way to honor the blessed Irish Saint Patrick 
than to get plastered out of your mind starting in the 
morning 'til closing time. See the emergency vehicle flashing 
lights at Ports o' Call from my balcony? 
Typical Saint Paddy's Day.

Mike


3/17/19, 11:45 pm
Allan
What??? Have you been drinking?

3/18/19, 12:45 am
Mike
Not me. But, it's a huge drinking day & many 
people start early & some bars serve green beer.

I'm Watching a Netflix movie called triple frontier. 
It's a pretty good action movie. Some of it doesn't 
seem real realistic but some parts of it are really intense. 
If you feel like an action flick, it's not too bad.

3/18/19, 2:19 am
Mike
Never mind that movie.

3/18/19, 9:05 am
Allan
haha

3/18/19, 11:31 pm
Mike

1st day on the job. Red hat, red shirt, red shorts, red insulated 
delivery bag. GrubHub colors, but no GrubHub logos in case 
of an accident. Brown shoes complete the ensemble. The red 
outfit drives the ladies wild. Like a bull at a bull fight, they 
want to attack me & it hurts so good!



3/21/19, 12:53 am
Allan
What Job? Tell me!!

3/21/19, 10:11 am
Mike
I'm delivering restaurant food again.
But for a different company called GrubHub. 
Part time.

3/22/19, 8:47 am
Allan


3/22/19, 12:51 pm
Mike
I just remembered something funny I used to do at Lincoln 
Elementary School. Sometimes when I would get a hall pass 
to use the bathroom I would go in there and pee all over the 
floor instead of the toilet. I don't know why I did that. I think 
I thought it was funny. I was a little strange in that way.

3/23/19, 10:44 am
Allan
uh oh.

3/23/19, 11:53 am
Mike
I guess I should let you know that I gave up that weird 
behavior while I was still in elementary school.

3/24/19, 10:03 am
Allan
Whew.

3/24/19, 1:25 pm
Mike
Here is something interesting to me. My cat Gracie is the one 
that scratches and bites and I have to be careful around her 
but she's a lot better. But I think she really enjoys listening to 
me sing and play. Whenever I do she jumps up on the amplifier 
and just looks at me and then closes and opens her eyes almost 
like she's in a trance. Do you remember Shiner always sat 
with Mom on the piano bench when Mom played?

3/24/19, 9:38 pm
Allan
I do remember this! Thank you! In my whole adult life, 
I've never had a pet. 
Or even a plant. Sigh.

3/24/19, 9:55 pm
Mike
Having a pet(s) for you I think would be difficult. Mainly
because you go away so much. Or you used to anyway. But 
for me I don't travel hardly ever and I'm not kidding when 
I tell you I feel so much better having these little guys in my life. 
I actually look forward to coming home now so I can see them 
and pet and play with them. It's really made a big difference 
in how I feel. When we hear that pets are great companions 
for older people, it's 100% true for me. I'm not lonely any more.

3/24/19, 11:21 pm
Allan
I'm kind of jealous. But I do go away periodically - last week 
I spent three days in Chicago, and the week after this I have 
to be in Washington DC for another three days - all about 
giving ""talk" on my work. P;us I spend my weekends with 
Elizabeth at HER house, out in Brooklyn. My life is busy 
and good but in many ways stupid. Do you let the cats out 
to play in the back yards or something?

3/25/19, 12:10 am
Mike
I don't let my cats out ever. Except if I take them 
somewhere in their carriers and I have a little cat play 
pin that I am going to take them out and let them be 
in parks but I haven't done it yet. I had to sign a promise 
when I adopted them they would be house cats and I 
would not let them out to run free because there's 
all kinds of problems outdoor cats cause and there's 
things that can happen to them as well. I am glad you 
reminded me because I've been stalling about letting 
them out in their play pin at a park so they can to see 
the outside world because my one cat might have a heart 
attack because she so scared of everything but the other 
1 would probably be OK and actually will probly both 
be all right because once they're in that playpin they can't 
get out. I'll take a picture of it when I do it & send it to 
you. I'm glad to know that you are still with Elizabeth and 
I'm also glad to know that you're still going out and doing 
lectures about your work. You are a really good and 
enjoyable speaker and I think the way you present your 
talks is really good. I still remember a funny line he said 
at 1 of your talks. You were showing those little tiny men 
made out of plastic that you put under a microscope and 
took pictures of with a one of your friends. And when 
you were showing it during your lecture you said 
something like "I don't know the guy but I know his type." 
So funny that I've used it quite a few times.

Mike
Allen I can't remember if you subscribe to Amazon prime 
video. If you do I've just started a series that I really like 
called "The Widow." I've watched two episodes and they 
are. really good. It's a good story.

3/25/19, 10:46 am
Allan
Thanks! I'd like to recommend "The OA" on NetFlix 
- it's amazing. And also "The East" on Amazon.

3/25/19, 11:15 am
Mike
Thanks Allan.

Mike is waving at you!

Mike
Allan, have you watched any of Amazon's "Tin Star?" 
I really like. I'm close to the end of the 1st season. 
I think the 2nd season. Tim Roth is great and so is the 
other guy. I don't know his name but this the third 
series I've seen him play a.villian. Hell in Wheels 
was one and the other was about the US Revolutionary 
War. He's a great villain. So creepy.



3/30/19, 11:46 pm
Allan
Thanks Mike! I love Tim Roth too . . .

4/1/19, 5:23 pm
Mike
Unfortunately I have gained lots of weight and I'm so tired. 
I took a video of myself today.


4/2/19, 11:46 am
Mike
My cats are so rude. Always taking liberties with my stuff.


4/2/19, 2:16 am
Mike
Have you seen the new horror movie where croquet game 
equipment come alive and terrorize the English countryside? 
"Something Wicket This Way Comes."

4/2/19, 6:01 pm
Allan
Oy. I'm croquet, you're croquet.

Mike
Nice.

4/3/19, 1:44 pm
Mike
Knock Knock 
Who's there? 
Wifi
Wifi who? 
Wifight it baby, you know you love me.

Why did the husband lay his wife down & 
then put money on her? Because she told him 
he could always count on her.

4/3/19, 5:57 pm
Allan
Her response to the knoock-knock: 
A sheep that's only slifghtly female. 
What do you mean? 
Ewe-ish!

4/3/19, 6:13 pm
Allan
Why did the man's wife tell him to 
put his money where his mouth is? 
Because she was tired of having sex 
with him without being paid.

Mike
EXCELLENT!!

Mike
But, why was she tired of having sex 
with him without being paid? 
Because she was a filthy whore!

Mike
7%%Û

4/4/19, 7:29 pm
Mike
How do British fox hunters inventory 
their women of ill repute? 
Allan, you should get this one.

4/4/19, 10:16 pm
Allan
They Tally their Ho's.

4/4/19, 10:46 pm
Mike
I didn't think of that one. 
Just "Tally Ho!" I knew would.get it.

4/5/19, 12:32 pm
Allan
How did the captain think of the time when he 
finally got an allotted place for his ship at the wharf? 
Happy Berth day!

Mike
Good one again!! Thanks Allan. 
Love, Mike

4/5/19, 4:58 pm
Mike
What do you call it when your insurance 
company pays you more than your house was 
worth after it was blown over by a hurricane. 
WINDFALL!


4/5/19, 9:25 pm
Allan
ouch!

Mike
Have you seen the new horror movie where the 
woven baskets rise from the landfill and terrorized
 the Amish community? 
"Something Wicker This Way Comes."


Mike

When the executioner said to the killer, 
"You deserve to die by this spike through 
your skull," he hit the nail right on the head.

4/7/19, 1:30 am
Mike
When the guy got impatient with his waiter, why 
did he then grab his female escort's sister? 
Because he thought his waiter told him to hold 
his whore's sis.

Mike
How did the guy respond when asked 
why he climbed up on his outhouse. 
"I can't remember off the top of my head."


4/8/19, 10:55 pm
Allan
LOL

4/14/19, 1:39 am
Mike
Allan this is not a trick question or a riddle. If you 
were working in your studio and two detectives showed 
up and wanted to ask you some questions because they 
were investigating a murder, what would you do?

4/19/19, 1:27 pm
Mike



4/21/19, 1:18 pm
Mike


4/24/19, 5:47 pm
Mike
What does it mean when a Chinese chef prepares a dish 
while enjoying a Tutti Frutti treat? 
It means he can wok and chew gum at the same time

4/24/19, 6:16 pm
Mike

What is displayed when trick or treaters cover Mister Philbin's house with chicken 
embryos? Egg Regis behavior.

4/25/19, 2:07 am
Allan
You win.

4/25/19, 2:58 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. I have a dash camera in my car now. A young 
woman T-boned me at an intersection the day before yesterday. 
I was okay but my car was not. She didn't seem to be injured 
but her car was also not okay. So I'm going to send you a 
video of what it looked like from my point of view and I just 
wanted to let you know that I'm okay before I sent it to you.


4/25/19, 7:54 pm
Allan
Holy shit. I'm glad you're OK. I can't 
believe you have a dash camera! 
Was she half asleep or what??

4/25/19, 8:25 pm
Mike
She claimed that she applied her brakes and they wouldn't
stop the car. But then she said something like "I tried to 
stop but my brakes failed. All I could hear was screeching." 
I know my tires weren't screeching. So I'm not sure what she 
meant but she admitted she was at fault & her insurance 
company also admitted. They're going to pay and so my 
insurance company is going to work out with her insurance 
company to make everything right

Mike
I've had a dash camera for probably about 6 years now.
I just bought a real nice one & I'm glad I had it. If she 
had tried to claim it was not her fault, I would have the 
video evidence that it was. That's why I have the dash cam.

Mike
How are you feeling Allan?

4/25/19, 10:38 pm
Allan
I'm not feeling too good. Walking with a cane. But my 
career is OK. Not selling, but showing. Trying to feel
good. I wake up depressed every morning, but then 
close my eyes and work on remembering what art
feels like to feel good. And it usually works! A new 
trick I just figured out a couple of years ago!

Mike
Why are you using a cane? I think you might have 
told us in an email but I can't remember.

4/26/19, 12:50 am
Allan
Oh, I thought I told you. I think I did, you told 
about the problems you had in the past. Something
is wrong with my back, it hurts when I walk to much. 
The cane helps reduce the weight. I have to see a 
doctor, but I keep making excuses to myself. I think 
I told you, I needed to be in a wheelchair for my 
airport travels to Chicago, where I went to have 
a talk. Really embarrassing to be pushed around 
in a wheelchair!
Enter

4/26/19, 9:57 am
Mike
I remember now. No more excuses. 
You better see a doctor. Love, Mike

4/30/19, 7:36 pm
Mike

Alan this is a picture of what I was trying to describe 
to you that helps take pressure off your back.

5/4/19, 9:33 pm
Allan
Hmmm. OK. BTW my name has two L's !

5/4/19, 10:32 pm
Mike
Are you sure?

5/5/19, 12:29 am
Allan


5/5/19, 1:19 am
Allan
Just so you know . . .


5/5/19, 1:47 am
Mike
Where did you get that? On Craig's List?

5/5/19, 2:41 pm
Allan
I used it to qualify for Social Security and Medicare. Don't tell.


5/8/19, 8:37 pm

Mike  is waving at you!

How do you like my new home screen?

5/9/19, 12:51 am
Allan
What's a home screen???

5/10/19, 2:54 pm
Mike
I just signed up for a 7-Day free trial of robokiller. 
Here's a robokiller response to a telemarketer 
using robokiller Donald Trump voice. Hilarious.


5/11/19, 1:23 PM
Mike


Why is it rude to say to somebody "Step away from the bucket." 
Because it's beyond the pail.


Why can't a guy have sex with his Crest Whitening Gel? 
It's like trying to put the tube back in the toothpaste

5/11/19, 2:23 pm
Allan
Wow, twice a day.

5/11/19, 2:48 pm
Mike
I am on a roll. Speaking of rolls, I love a roll 
with honey in bed every morning.

Mike

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTZhrwR7CoE
The Fly *Help Me Help Me* (Scene) 1958.
youtube.com

5/11/19, 3:28 pm
Allan
Believe me, I have never forgotten this scene.
Enter

5/11/19, 3:54 pm
Mike
I was 10 years old when I saw the movie The Fly. It scarred me for life. It was 
horrifying to me at that age

And I miss Vincent Price. He was so awesome and those days.

5/11/19, 5:46 pm
Mike
audio missing
0:09

5/11/19, 6:18 pm
Mike


5/11/19, 8:56 pm
Allan
Here's an easy one: How do you describe Manilow and 
Goldwater's improvisational session playing sad tunes 
on their musical instruments?

Mike
Barry Barry sad horn horn it sounds so forlone. That was way too easy.

Mike
How did the guy with two penises know he was 
desirable to the ladies? He could feel it in his bones. 
Lord have mercy on my wicked soul.



Allan
Nope. Wrong answer.

Allan
Blue Barry Jam.

Mike
Excellent! Good one.

Tenor GIF Keyboard

Allan
Give me another few months and I'll come up with another one.

Mike

I watch this hilarious stuff all day. Such great Entertainment.

My cats are hilarious.

Mike
Did you see that roll over reverse bitch slap?

Allan
Lazy Meanie.

The Hittie Kitty

Mike
He doesn't put up with her nonsense anymore.

5/12/19, 11:39 am
Mike
Why is toothpaste never successful in business? 
Because it always gets squeezed out.

Mssing sound
0:09

5/12/19, 5:10 pm
Mike


5/14/19, 3:04 am
Mike
Alan I think you have Amazon prime. It has a movie
called Out of Time with Denzel Washington. Have 
you ever seen it? Iv'e seen it a few times and it's a really 
good thriller. Lot of good back stabbing and just a good 
story and on the edge of your seat type. I think you'd 
really like it if you've never seen it. It's midnight 
right now and I'm just starting it because I can't sleep 
and I'm not tired yet

5/14/19, 1:09 pm
Mike

What do you call it when you discover you have lice?
I call that a cootieful thing

5/14/19, 7:10 pm
Mike

What did the patient say to the cardio surgeon to empathize 
with him for the stressful operation he was about to conduct? 
"My heart goes out to you."

5/14/19, 10:31 pm
Allan


5/15/19, 3:41 pm
Mike

What is it called when a male and female snake slough off their skin together? 

It's one of those he shed, she shed situations.

5/15/19, 4:40 pm
Allan
hahahaha

5/18/19, 2:10 am
Mike
Why was it so amazing when the decay-preventive 
dentifrice was returned to the subway? 
Because it was putting the toothpaste back in the tube.

5/18/19, 9:55 pm
Mike

Why are their mixed results turning down the seafood 
chefs cooker when he already feels incompetent? 
It lowers his pressure, but it also lowers his shellfish steam.


5/19/19, 11:06 am
Mike
?? Reply Instantly
Enter
Mike
Feeling good today

5/19/19, 11:31 am
Mike

When will my cats ever stop taking liberties with my stuff? 
This is starting to get very annoying.

5/20/19, 9:45 pm
Mike
Here are two I think most of you will solve. 
1. When the cook was running late, 
why couldn't he include the final herb in the beef stew? 
2. With nothing else to do, what does Cyndi Lauper 
have after munching a woody, low- growing herb?

5/21/19, 12:26 am
Allan
He was out of thyme, and she had thyme after thyme. 
And don't give me no more chives.

5/21/19, 2:04 am
Mike
You got the first one right.Good work.

5/21/19, 11:12 am
Allan
!! The second one I got wrong??

5/21/19, 11:45 am
Mike
Why is it hard to take a corn and herb 
farmer seriously? 
They're always shuckin' and chivein'.

Mike
And, yes you got the second one wrong. 
It's time after thyme. 
Focus Allan.

Mike
Allan, I think you need a fun vacation. Instead 
of Florida, think about Scarborough Fair.

Mike
Allan, I just wrote an awesome new song. 
"Are You Going to Scarfaces Fair"

Are you going to Scarface's Fair 
Parties rage. Rosemary it's time. 
Remember me the hitman lives there.
She once was a victim of mine.

5/21/19, 8:23 pm
Allan
I'm going to sue this guy for all he's worth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfm5gqeaVlM
Allan McCollum Symmetry and Asymmetry Project 
for Kindergarten
youtube.com

5/21/19, 11:49 pm
Mike
Allan, that is so wonderful. Teaching your ideas 
to children. The best I have ever felt about my 
musicianship is when people have told me that 
I influenced them as children to become musicians.
 There have been several in my life. I'm not sure 
if I can think of anything more rewarding in my life. 
I'm sure it makes you feel great. Do you know the teacher?

5/22/19, 12:32 am
Allan
I know, it's a wonderaful feeling. And I don't know 
this teacher at all, that's one of the nicest things - 
that he knows my work somewhere far away. 
It makes me feel like I'm helping children, yes - 
such a great feeling.

5/22/19, 2:16 am
Mike
Have you contacted him to say thanks? If not and 
you want to, his email address is: ecelarier@gmail.com

5/23/19, 12:47 am
Mike
When is it hard to tell that someone's twin is a cop? 
When it's a bed. It's always under cover.

5/23/19, 1:19 am
Allan
When it was discovered that the cop's sleepover 
was a queen, he was transferred to wetness protection.

5/23/19, 10:19 am
Mike
LOL LOL LOL One of your best.

5/23/19, 11:39 am
Mike
Why did one investor control the corn farming corporation? 
Because he had 51% of the stalk.


5/23/19, 4:52 pm
Allan
lol

5/23/19, 6:15 pm
Mike
What's the best natural product to make ink of a certain color? 
Rubber! 
Erase the "P" from "Pink."

Allan
I'm pretty sure you've gotten a job working for NBC news, 
and wrote the line"It was a clean getaway" here: 
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/massachusetts-
man-says-someone-broke-his-home-cleaned-it-n1009291

Mike
I would never have written a line so obvious.


But I did make a poem from the word sweep in one 
of my Ibul Shichunot stories. Unless you've ever 
watch the Winter Olympics you might not get these
two puns. It's from a story where he's bragging about
winning the Winter Olympics. "Next Winter Olympics 
I will no doubt win the luge competition because I'm 
a laid-back kind of guy and you can bet on my clean s
weep in the curling event."

Mike
I changed his name to Ike Shichunot or I. Shichunot. 
It's way more understandable. And I have some ideas 
to do some funny (I hope) videos on YouTube with Ike.

Mike
I've written a Christmas parody called I'm Beginning 
to Look a lot like Chris........ Christie.
He will not like it.

5/24/19, 12:17 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. Here are four photos of artwork by Lou's wife, 
Candice Gawne. A show of hers is opening tomorrow in 
LA and these will be in the show. It's really interesting 
stuff I think. She said that it's a technique that was used 
2000 years ago.


The technique uses layers of wax somehow.
And they look kind of 3D in person.

5/24/19, 3:29 pm
Allan
Why did the detective have so little trouble finding 
the clue which lead to the capture of the murderer 
who left a corpse at the Goodwill? 
Because the murderer left a dead giveaway.

5/24/19, 6:39 pm
Allan
What do you call the chowder that is sitting on
 the table in front of Senator Thurmond? 
The clam before the Strom.

5/24/19, 9:28 pm
Allan
How do you describe the man who wasn't remotely 
interested in turning around to face the cowboy who was
in the process of beginning to shoot him with his pistol? 
Back to the drawing, bored.

Mike
Your riddles are getting really good.

Allan
I agree. The dumber my riddles get, the better.

Allan
What was the newspaper headline for the story 
about a man in Prague who stood up in court 
to make a formal statement? 
Czech pleas.

5/24/19, 10:16 pm
Mike
And what was he called when found guilty of scamming 
a retailer with insufficient funds in his account?
The Bad Czech.

What did the songbird sing to her mate when he 
flatulated in the nest? 
Did you ever know that you're a zero? 
And everything I would never be. 
You must be high as Jeanine Pirro 
Cuz you broke wind beneath my wings.

5/25/19, 1:36 pm
Mike
https://www.evensi.us/exhibition-candice-gawne-
south-bay-contemporary-gallery/307374172
Exhibition: Candice Gawne - 25 May 2019
evensi.us

I am going to her opening this afternoon. 
This is Lou Mannick's wife Candice Gawne! 
And, she is real gone!

5/25/19, 3:28 pm
Allan
Wow!

5/30/19, 9:47 pm
Mike
Knock! Knock! 
Who's there? 
Me, I'm I. 
Me, I'm I who?

Me, I'm I. 
Me, oh mo. 
Me I middy my me oh no. 
Middy my mo me u moo. 
Middy my mo moo moo!

What do call a girl who looks just like 
Miley Cyrus murdered while hand 
washing clothes?

Wait for it...... 
Dead ringer.

5/30/19, 10:37 pm
Allan
Your lyrics are ringing in my brain!!

5/30/19, 10:59 pm
Mike
"MOTHER NOT TO BE 
OUTDONE BY ALL OF THEM!" 
The Me, I'm I joke is only for the McCollum's.

5/31/19, 4:28 pm
Mike
Why did the cops look for the transgender 
criminal outside the U.S? 
Because they heard he was a broad.


6/1/19, 1:53 pm
Mike
Name a famous world traveler named "Walker."
It's the Medical Delux Two-Button Folding Walker With 5" Wheels.

Mike
Why did the loser by false teeth adhesive to do his auto body work? 
Because the label said "Fixadent." Sorry. That may have been a bridge too far.

Individual works.

Mike
Mike McCollum sent you an invite to join Messenger.


6/2/19, 1:18 pm
Mike

How does Walker, Texas Ranger, deal with a beggar on the streets? 
When a panhandler panhandles he'll handle a pan, then handle the 
panhandler by smacking the panhandler with a pan handle in the 
Texas Panhandle.

6/2/19, 2:34 pm
Allan
A good Sunday morning laugh!

6/3/19, 12:04 am
Mike
Here is my latest and I hope it's difficult. 

With grave injuries, a vet was brought into 
the Veterans Hospital. Looking shocked, the 
doctor yelled"Oh God, attacked by a mad cow!" 
And, he was right, but nobody had told him. 
How could he have possibly known?

6/3/19, 1:11 pm
Mike
Nobody has gotten it so here is the solution: 
The injured guy was a veteran and a livestock 
veterinarian. He was the doctor who was shocked 
and called out he had been attacked by a mad cow. 
Was that so hard?

6/5/19, 12:36 pm
Mike
Jeremy and his young girlfriend.


6/10/19, 10:50 am
Mike

?? Reply Instantly

6/10/19, 11:25 am
Allan


6/10/19, 3:08 pm
Mike
Alan how did your work end up at the Punta Gorda Sheriff's Department.


6/11/19, 3:26 pm
Allan
Lol, how did you run across this??? I love it! 
But I will have to bring a lawsuit 
against them, for stealing my ideas.

6/11/19, 4:28 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. I was watching "First Amendment Audits" 
on Youtube and that one came up. Any settlement or
Judgment you get is subject to my Finder's Fee of 50% 
which I'm sure you agree is fair.
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

6/13/19, 2:03 am
Mike
Allan, if you've never seen The Electric Mist it's on 
Netflix.I've watched it many times & I'm watching it 
now. It is soooo good!!  
You'll love it if you haven't seen it.

The song at the end is incredible.

6/13/19, 12:52 pm
Mike

How did the boxer reveal to the world
that he was a closet wife swapper? 
He came out swinging.


6/14/19, 8:34 pm
Mike
I told a fun boat ride yesterday in the L.A. Harbor.

6/15/19, 3:41 am
Allan
[n mj??/>././ , theboxingg,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,, but then they \\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
'''''''''''''''''''''''''""'''''''""'"
hub hvfgvbv\/

6/15/19, 9:05 am
Mike
Hi Allan. How are you doing? Are you feeling OK? 
Love, =Mike=

6/15/19, 10:33 am
Mike
Aplomb | Definition of Aplomb by Merriam-Webster
Definition of aplomb. : 
complete and confident composure or self-assurance : 
poise She played several roles with equal aplomb.

6/15/19, 5:21 pm
Allan
\ Active 50m ago 
Conversation Information 
Mike McCollum 
Active 50m ago 
Options 
Search in Conversation 
Edit Nicknames 
Change Color 
Change Emoji 
Notifications 
Shared Photos 
Messages OK Mike, I think I figured out why I typed 
that while half-asleep from taking an Ambien. I was 
referencing this, which I had posted on my Facebook 
page earlier!

https://www.vulture.com/2019/06/elaine-may-interviews-
kenneth-lonergan.html?fbclid=IwAR2tcmS50AGbB49z
AooAWkBbgL0b_2ialXfIwVY5fOIBWcrmBzwaQJtBgec

Elaine May Interviews Kenneth Lonergan
vulture.com

6/15/19, 5:49 pm
Mike
Ok. I understand.

Allan
What????? Did you write that LIST to kaki 
it look like I did it???? Active 50m ago, 
Conversation Information, Mike McCollum,
Active 50m ago, Options, Search 
in Conversation, Edit Nicknames, Change 
Color, Change Emoji, Notifications, 
Shared Photos, Messages????

6/16/19, 12:17 am
Allan
I'm worried that someone is gaslighting me . . .

6/16/19, 1:55 am
Mike
Not me Allan. And.I dont know what gaslighting is.

6/16/19, 2:29 am
Allan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Gaslighting" target="gaslighting window"

Gaslighting - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org

6/16/19, 10:24 am
Mike
Thanks Allan. Now I know.

6/16/19, 8:00 pm
Allan
Hey Mike - what is the name of that movies you recommended?

Allan
AH, "The Electric Mist" . . .

6/16/19, 9:39 pm
Mike
Yes.

6/16/19, 10:30 pm
Allan
I just watched it - it's great. I look forward to other 
recommendations! I loved that John Sayles was in it,
it made perfect sense . . .

Mike
Great. I thought you would like it.

Allan
Re John Sayles, I recommend "Lone Star" . . .

Mike
Re John Sayles I recommend Matewan.
Its another one Ive watched a lot of times.

Mike
I may have seen Lonestar I'm going to have to double-check.

Mike
I just watched a trailer of Lone Star. I'm pretty sure 
I have never seen it so I will try to find it and watch 
it for sure. Thanks Allan.

6/17/19, 6:45 pm
Allan
I haven't seen Matewan, I'll watch it next weekend 
with Elizabeth!

Allan
It's interesting, that we both like to see movies more 
than two or three times. One of those for me is 
"You Can Count on Me." And also "Margaret,"
a LONG movie, by the same director (Kenneth Lonergan), 
but it's so great.

6/17/19, 8:13 pm
Mike
Ok great. I'll find them. Here's one for you t
hat I've seen many times. "Murphy's Romance" 
with Sally Field and James Garner.

Mike
Laura Linney. I should have known.

6/17/19, 8:40 pm
Mike
I'm watching Margaret first. It looks really good.

6/18/19, 1:28 am
Mike

Allan I really liked the movie. It did not seem too
long to me. The Musical soundtrack really caught 
my attention and normally movies don't do that. 
The last scene at the Opera had me spellbound 
and I watched it four times. Thanks Allan. 
Love, =Mike=

6/18/19, 11:33 pm
Allan
Oh Mike, I'm really happy you liked it. Yes, the 
last scene at the opera - so wonderful. It tied 
everything together and brought a lot of tears. 
Lonergan often suggests that there is no way at 
all to ever get completely over certain sadnesses, 
guilts, hurts. No matter how hard you try, and 
for how long. One thing that's nice, it says a lot 
about living in New York, which when one lives 
here, one sees. The writer/director Kenneth 
Lonergan is also a playwriter, and growing up 
in New York is often part of the undercurrent. 
He even wrote the screenplay for, "The Gangs 
of New York"! There is a really nice interview 
with him here: 
"The Gangs of New York"!

Kenneth Lonergan by Rachel Kushner - 
BOMB Magazine
bombmagazine.org

6/19/19, 4:33 pm
Mike

My cats. I've got them in training for the synchronized
sleeping event at the next animal Olympics where they'll 
be going for the gold.

6/22/19, 2:53 pm
Mike


I'm taking pencil sketching lessons. 
Sometimes I like to use colored pencils.

6/22/19, 11:59 pm
Allan
What a world.

6/23/19, 12:53 am
Mike McCollum sent you an invite to join Messenger.

6/23/19, 10:41 pm

6/24/19, 9:52 am
Mike



6/24/19, 10:56 am
Mike
I look good in a hat.

6/24/19, 1:21 pm
Allan

https://sentence.yourdictionary.com/brim"
Use brim in a sentence | brim sentence examples
sentence.yourdictionary.com

6/25/19, 9:49 pm
Allan
I've got tears in my eves as I type. Thank you so much for recommending 
Murphy's Romance. I loved it. Thank you.

6/26/19, 12:46 am
Mike
I'm really glad you liked it. I just thought of another one I've watched 
several times. "Trip to Bountiful." The main character reminds me of 
Grammy. I think it's Geraldine Paige. It's a great story.

6/26/19, 4:26 pm
Mike
Oh my gosh I think there are some alien bugs that got into my leg.


6/28/19, 12:00 am
Allan
Everything will be OK.

6/28/19, 1:48 am
Allan
Look what I found online. Don't tell anyone.
http://artarchives.net/1/allan_mccollum_net_worth2.html
Allan McCollum Net Worth
artarchives.net

6/28/19, 3:08 pm
Mike

6/28/19, 3:51 pm
Allan
!!!! - I made up the webpage as a joke, but where did 
this Trending Celeb page come from? Jesus! I thought 
 was the one making stuff up!!!!

One thing I just figured out, I don't know why it took 
me so long. If Elizaabeth Warren becomes president, it 
will be like our mother and father being in charge of 
the country.

6/28/19, 5:30 pm
Mike
I hope you haven't put that thing you made up on 
Facebook. if people believe you really have that much 
money, me and Chuck would be subject to kidnapping 
for ransom from you. That probably would not work 
out so well for us. I found that other net worth figure by 
searching for where you might have got the information 
that you made up.

6/28/19, 6:05 pm
Allan
I only sent it to my girlfriend and to you!

6/28/19, 7:01 pm
Mike
Great.

6/30/19, 3:46 pm
Allan
Elizabeth and I watched "Trip to Bountiful"! 
I can totally see how it reminded you of Grammy! 
It was like watching a play, we thought. Nice.

6/30/19, 4:44 pm
Mike
Yes I've watched it for quite a few years now 
and it's never caused me any problems. 
And the movies are free.

One of the parts that I liked in Trip to Bountiful 
was on the bus when the main character was 
telling the girl she had met about how her father 
would not let her be with a boy that she loved 
probably 40 or 50 years in the past. And she 
was still upset about it and it made her cry. 
That was really poignant I thought.

It made a really good point that we aren't always 
able to forget things emotionally and they will stay 
with us and there's nothing we can do about it.

6/30/19, 5:29 pm
Allan
Yes, that was there. It's also in that movie 
"You Can Count on Me," how things stay with us . . .

7/2/19, 2:26 pm
Mike
Allan, look at this website
free stuff you can get:

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7/3/19, 6:24 pm
Mike
We can't all be geniuses.


7/5/19, 1:41 am
Mike


7/6/19, 11:59 pm
Mike

Back to the grind. Check out the burger behind me. Making me HUNGRY!!


Allan
Are you OK?

Mike
Yes
Im fine Allan. At a store now. Why did you ask?

Allan
Oh. Good. I'm sad that you're hungry. Can I help?

Mike
Send me some animal crackers.

Allan
I don't have one of those kid-stuff i-phones. I'm an old man.

Mike
I did not invite you to Messenger. You already use it. 
I don't know why that happened. 
I think my cell phone invited your cell phone. 
But you don't have a cell phone so the 
invitation is moot.

7/9/19, 1:43 am
Allan
lol

7/10/19, 12:14 am
Mike
Allan have you heard of Britbox?

7/10/19, 12:16 pm
Allan
No. ??

7/10/19, 2:01 pm
Mike
OK.

Mike
Hi Allan. Check your email for an early birthday 
present. And now I'm off to an optometrist to 
get some new glasses. Love, =Mike=
Enter

7/12/19, 12:51 am
Mike
Allan, have you taken a look at Britbox yet?

7/12/19, 10:21 am
Allan
OH! No! I keep meaning to open the email, it's just that 
I've been preparing for an "interview" today that is 
freaking me out. It starts 2-1/2 hours, with a 
museum curator, and I think it's going to be awful. 
I've been setting everything aside, trying to prepare. 
I'll get to the email this afternoon! 
Britbox! What a funny word!

Mike
It wont be awful Allan. You'll do great. Love, Mike

7/12/19, 10:11 pm
Allan
Well, it wasn't "awful" exactly - 
but not the best, by far.
Love, Allan

Mike
Were you unprepared? Nervous?'

7/13/19, 12:49 am
Allan
Some of his questions were sort of irrelevant, 
but he was a young guy, very smart. It was 
just that his interests in my work were different 
than my own interests in my work, at times. 
I'll get to edit it, after his assistants transcribe it. 
Still, I've had interviews that were much more 
interesting to me.

Mike
So you're work can hold interest in more ways 
than one. That sounds like a good thing to me.

I'm watching this series on Britbox now. I just started with episode one last 
night and now I'm on to episode 2. It's really good.

It's the King Tut one. The Heist at Hatton Garden is really good too. 
I've watched it already.

7/13/19, 1:24 pm
Allan
I just binge watched all six episodes of the 
fourth season of "Shetland"! (I'd seen the first
three seasons when they were on Netflix!)

7/13/19, 2:01 pm
Mike
Nice.

7/14/19, 2:25 pm
Mike
Allan, do you have power?

7/14/19, 3:39 pm
Allan
I have total power in the art world!

7/14/19, 6:51 pm
Mike
YES YOU DO!! LONG LIVE 
THE KING OF ALL ART!!

7/14/19, 7:57 pm
Allan


7/15/19, 12:56 pm
Allan
https://homemaking.com/hannah/study-says-left-
handed-people-exceptional/?fbclid=IwAR0_
veYGG5cGr2WJjT_fMDCAitXN3QNOCgZQjqasifN6BTf4QXcYmTZuSrQ

Here's Why Left-Handed People Are 
Exceptional, According To One Study
homemaking.com 

Mike
Wow!! I always wondered why I was so amazing. 
And now I know. Thanks Allan.


Mike McCollum invited you to Messenger.

7/15/19, 7:37 pm
Allan
Mike, every time I've tried to get onto Britbox today, 
this is what i get. 
Is this happening to you? I'm having no such trouble 
with Netflix or any other website.


Mike
Allan, I just signed in to Britbox and I was able to. I even 
made sure by bringing up Shetland Season 5, Episode 1. 
There is a customer service phone number you can call 
and they've always been responsive to me. I call them 
to find out how to pay for your subscription and there 
was a number I think on the homepage that I called.  If
you want me to call them for you, I will just let me know.
Enter

7/15/19, 8:17 pm
Allan
I guess you can call them, OK, if you know how to 
demo that. When I sign on it has my name up there, 
though, and I'm "signed in," and I've watched all of 
Shetland Season 4. Completely. Are you saying you
think that maybe the payment didn't, go through?
Or maybe their New York connection is broken? \
I tried other programs and the same thing happened.

Mike
I don't know why it's happening. I think if my 
payment had not gone through you would never
 have been able to watch anything. They would 
not have sent me the code that I forwarded to you.
I don't think it's my payment I think something on 
your end but I don't know what. But I do think 
it's probably best if you contact them because 
it is your account with your information, your 
user ID & password. If you contacting 
them fails, I will try to help you with it.

Allan
I just tried three more totally different TV shows
 - same thing happens.

Allan
This never happened with you?

Mike
It has never happened to me.

Allan
Hmmm. One of the "help" sentences says 
"Go to your profile online" - but there is 
no access to any profile.

Mike
I'll contact them. What's your user name and password?

Allan
Oh, now I found my "profile" - but non help there

Mike
I'll contact them. What's your user name 
and password?

Allan
allanmcnyc@aol.com and Thankstoyou2

Mike
OK. I will let you know what happens.

Allan
Thanks Mike

7/15/19, 9:01 pm
Allan
OH! I closed down and restarted, and now 
it works!!! Thanks!! I wonder if I have to do 
this every time I want to watch something! 
Thanks Mike!

Mike
Yay!! I hope that you won't have to do it 
every time. I don't think that you will.

7/16/19, 1:26 pm
Mike
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=
j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DwfJtnf
G6EMI&ved=2ahUKEwisk8Ke-rnjAhWXPM0KHZSTAyIQ
npsCMAJ6BAgDEAU&usg=AOvVaw2p17BXB0x7qV0wzy7
iUn2d&cshid=1563297834254

A Simple Plan - Trailer
youtube.com
Hi Allan here's another movie I think you would like. 
it's called "A Simple Plan" and it stars Bill Paxton, 
Billy Bob Thornton, Bridget Fonda, & others. It's 
about these backwoods guys who discover a plane that 
crashed in the snow with 4 million dollars in drug 
money and what happens after that. I've watched it 
lots of times and again last night. It's on Amazon.com.

https://www.amazon.com/?fbclid=IwAR3_aTX2hRWXN7
nT4qbDJeQLGKfQAsywtWCWBehwyIwzYtltyb4Ij5iAsBQ
Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, 
Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more
amazon.com

7/16/19, 7:27 pm
Allan
Thank you!

7/17/19, 4:05 pm
Mike
I just saw a fight that was so brutal a guy was 
getting his face pulverised! It was so bad I had to 
step in and stop it .... from being broken up by 
anyone any so I could video it and post it on
YouTube.

Mike


7/17/19, 4:39 pm
Allan
I can't tell when you're kidding and when you're not kidding.

Mike
I was kidding. Usually when someone says they 
stepped in to a fight it means they're breaking it up. 
It doesn't mean they're stepping in to take video.
It was a joke.

7/20/19, 12:07 pm
Mike
Allan, I just heard there are cooling stations in 
New York if you need to go to 1. Do you 
have air conditioning in your loft?

7/20/19, 12:52 pm
Allan
No, but Elizabeth has two. I'm hoping I can 
make it over to her Brooklyn place today 
without fainting. Mike, because you live in 
L.A , like in an extended "desert" area, you 
have NO idea what super high humidity does 
to one. When I first moved here I actually 
bought baby powder every summer and 
rubbed it all over my body every day, to 
feel normal and sane. It's a nightmare here 
when it becomes super hot and humid.
At this moment, as I type, drips of sweat are 
running down my body.

7/20/19, 2:06 pm
Mike
Please get over to Elizabeth's. I experienced hot, 
high humidity in Miami Beach probably about 
45 years ago and I never want to experience it 
again. It was awful.

7/21/19, 12:33 am
Mike
Allan, do you know a "family practitioner" named 
Liza Kazan? She sent me a "friend" request on 
Facebook and our one mutual friend is you. I'm 
pretty sure I don't know her, although her name s
ounds a little familiar. Who is she?

7/21/19, 1:56 am
Mike

This is photoa that covers a whole wall in a restaurant
I pick up from sometimes. It is a view of somewhere in 
Shanghai I was told. Maybe in the fifties or sixties. 
I really like the photo. And, I look forward to seeing 
the wall whenever I go there.

7/21/19, 3:42 am
Allan
Don't you mean Lisa instead of Liza?

Lisa was that woman that was a waitress at the Troubadour, 
back in the late 60s, early 70s. You knew her through me. 
Remember? 
She's a little crazy now in her old age . . .
New life turned out to be sad . .

Allan
"Her," NOT "NEW" - JESUS
She's very ill, and probably not long to live . . .

Mike
Yes. It's Lisa. Now I remember her. In my opinion 
she was crazy back then. I think through you I was 
her roommate for a very short period In Hollywood. 
I wasn't all that grounded or stable back then either. 
And, I'm sorry to hear that she is so sick. Lisa Kazan 
family practitioner at ice castles international traing 
center, ice skaters á UC Davis School of Medicine - 
Placerville, California - 1 mutual friend 
94 friends  - 11 groups

7/22/19, 8:14 pm
Mike
"Why did you think you'd be found innocent of stealing 
your associate's necklace?" "Because I heard criminals can 
always have jewelry of their peers." "It's not jewelry 
of your peers you freakin' moron. It's jury of your peers!"

7/23/19, 1:13 am
Allan
You clearly are a paralegal.

7/24/19, 10:09 pm
Mike

All this talk about political conspiracy and complicity is 
hurting my head and I gotta get away. More succinctly, I 
need collusion conclusion confusion contusion seclusion.

7/24/19, 11:21 pm
Allan
You got the Collusion Blues.

Mike
Missed video chat
11:23 PM
Mike
Missed video chat
11:29 PM

7/26/19, 1:00 am
Mike
How did the information become public about the 
urgical removal of the beauty spot? 
There was a mole in the operation.


7/26/19, 9:07 am
Allan
lol

7/26/19, 2:05 pm
Mike

Why did the guy think pickles were spying on him 
from the sky and monitoring his every move? 
Because he was dill-usional.
Enter

7/26/19, 3:22 pm
Allan
Why did the cat jump in fear when he saw a boy with 
crazy brown hair? Because he afraid of Kook Umber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXv44YL_Gio

Funny cats scared of cucumbers - cat vs cucumber 
compilation youtube.com

So funny. One of my cats is not just afraid of cucumbers, 
she's afraid of everything - animate or inanimate.

7/27/19, 12:51 am
Mike
Republicans love Donald Trump. 
When he says "Hop to it!" they jump. 
But they're flirting with death
Cuz they can't catch their breath 
With their noses so far up his rump!


7/27/19, 1:05 pm
Mike



7/27/19, 8:38 pm
Mike


7/27/19, 11:52 pm
Mike
One on the left. 
One in the right. 
It's gonna be One helluva night!

It's Jeremy the Ladies man.

8/4/19, 1:12 pm
Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ-j0Fea5Bk
&feature=share

Happy Birthday Allan
youtube.com

8/5/19, 12:23 pm
Allan
WOW!!! Thank you Mike!!!!

8/20/19, 1:44 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. Here are Jeremy's kids on the first day of school.

Casey and Amelia.
Casey and Amelia on the first day of school.


8/20/19, 5:06 pm
Allan
You're so lucky to have a beautiful son and beautiful grandkids!

Allan
So, in Colorado you can wear shorts to school??

Mike
Apparently so. When I was in high school, if a girl 
showed up in a skirt that short, they would have been 
sent home immediately.

Mike
And, yes I am very lucky. My grandkids like me.

Mike
I think the rule for skirts was no more than one inch
above the knees. And, here is something funny. When 
hippy girls started wearing long skirts down to their f
eet, Aviation banned skirts that we're too long!! 
We just can't win.

Mike
It was like the strike zone in baseball. Any skirt lower 
than your ankles or higher than your knees is a strike 
and YOU'RE OUT!

Mike
Did you know what the baseball strike zone was? If not 
you should probably move to another country because 
how can you call yourself a true American without 
knowing a basic fundamental of baseball rules. But, don't
move, to Greenland because Trump might buy it for us.

8/20/19, 6:25 pm
Allan
Between my shoulders and my knees? Yes? Or maybe 
where union members hold their demonstrations?

Mike
It took me longer than usual to get the joke. Good one.

Mike
As a baseball player, what's better: a high ball, or a low ball?

A highball is best. It's a refreshing drink. A lowball is simply 
someone wants to pay you less than something is worth. 
Ha Ha Ha!

8/21/19, 11:09 pm
Mike

My newest cartoon.

8/21/19, 11:39 pm
Allan
Ugh!

Mike
You're welcome.

9/1/19, 1:08 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. I need to thank you about something. 
I told you awhile ago that I had been sleeping on 
the floor and don't have a bed. You seemed kind 
of bummed out about that. So I started using a fold 
out bed that I have had for a couple of years but 
never used it. It is so comfortable. So I'm not on 
the floor anymore Allan and I have a very 
comfortable bed to sleep on. Thanks for the wake 
up call. Get it? Wake up call? It's a pun. Because 
you wake up on a bed. And you gave me a wake 
up call. And I was talking about a bed. 
Get it? It was a pun.

Mike
And what do you call a good pun?
Punderful.

Beto O'rourke was interviewing with Dana Bash 
of CNN and he said during a conversation about 
gun control "It's fucked up." And they didn't 
bleep it. What is this world coming to?

9/1/19, 1:35 pm
Allan
Don't let the bedbugs bite!

Mike
Bedbugs have been gone for 2 years exactly. 
I keep my fingers crossed.

GIPHY

9/2/19, 12:54 pm
Mike
Why did the Woman take a baby blanket to the Verizon store? 
She wanted to bundle her services. -1

GIPHY

9/2/19, 2:47 pm
Allan


9/5/19, 3:27 pm
Mike

What do you call a gay couple's S&M fetishes involving whips 
ropes and handcuffs? Queer and pleasant danger.

9/5/19, 3:57 pm
Allan
One if your BEST!!!

9/5/19, 5:11 pm
Mike
Really? Thanks.

9/5/19, 7:12 pm
Allan
Apparently Lefties are better at puns: 
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/05/health/
uk-left-handed-genes-brain-structure-scn-
scli-intl/index.html

9/8/19, 3:58 am
Mike
Allan, I just saw a real good horror thriller. 
It's called "Case 39" with Renee Zellweger & 
Bradley Cooper. It's on Amazon Prime Videos. 
You'll like it if you haven't seen it already.

9/8/19, 12:13 pm
Allan
Thanks! I love Renee Zellweger. I'll watch it! 
I've just discovered this writer/director, 
Mike Mills. "Beginners" is on Amazon, and 
"20th Century Women" is on Netflix. 
Such great films!

Mike
Thanks for the tip. Have you seen Renee 
Zellweger lately? She had some facial work 
and she doesn't even look like the same 
person anymore. I like the way she used to 
look better. Case 39 is before her surgery.

9/9/19, 6:30 pm
Allan
Why Michael, why Michael, why Michael, 
why Michael, why Michael, why Michael, 
why Michael, why Michael, why Michael, 
why Michael, why Michael, why Michael, 
why Michael, why Michael, why Michael, 
why Michael, why Michael . . .

Mike
???????????????????????

9/9/19, 7:28 pm
Allan

9/9/19, 7:57 pm
Mike
Now I get it. Did you like that movie?

Mike
I thought that little girl in the movie 
was a terrific actor

Mike


9/10/19, 11:15 am
Allan
Haha, yes, I liked it! It scared Elizabeth to death, 
so she demanded we watch something else right after, 
so she could get over it! 

Mike
Elizabeth needs to toughen up. What she doesn't 
realize is that the movie will stay in her subconscious 
forever and she can't get rid of it by watching a comedy.

9/19/19, 10:57 am
Mike
Allan, you will never guess what this is..

Mike

Yes you will. I just realized it was labeled. 
It's a sculpture of a "broiler chicken" at 
the Denver public library.


9/20/19, 11:01 am
Allan
WHAT??!! How weird is Colorado!

9/20/19, 12:00 pm
Mike
The artist gave a pretty good explanation as 
to why she made that giant chicken sculpture 
but of course I don't remember what it was.

Mike
https://www.5280.com/2019/07/black-cubes
-latest-public-art-series-raises-questions-
about-monuments/

Black Cube's "Monumental" Raises 
Questions About Monuments
5280.com

9/24/19, 6:33 pm
Allan
Did you know this guy sold part of your song title?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JJfJgyHYwU

Rixton - Me and My Broken Heart (Official Video)
youtube.com

9/24/19, 7:05 pm
Mike
Yes

Mike
I am getting so tired of people stealing my good ideas. 
This has just got to stop!

Wow! Like him. He's got a good sound and good energy.

He's very good!

9/24/19, 8:32 pm
Allan
He also forged one of my Surrogate Paintings for 
the video. Bastard.


Mike
OMG!! Does he have no shame? What a slime bucket!

9/26/19, 12:05 pm
Mike

Allan, I have never seen these. Are they new?

Mike

Have you seen this? On Ebay it's described as, 
"A painting that feels inspired by Allan McCollum." 
Another question: Do paintings have feelings, and can p
aintings feel inspired?

9/26/19, 1:44 pm
Allan
No, I haven't seen this, haha! So I posted it on Facebook! 
Yes, paintings have feelings. So please be kind and sensitive
when you speak to a painting, and be inspirational.

Mike
Paintings are people too.

Allan

Paint lives matter.

Mike


9/27/19, 9:11 pm
Mike
What did the wife do when her husband failed to close 
the toilet lid? 
She accused him of a cover up.


9/28/19, 11:47 pm
Mike
I just finished a good and exciting thriller on Amazon. 
It's called, "A Lonely Place to Die." 
I thought it was really good.


9/30/19, 7:54 pm
Mike
71147872_1271328896373184_731082744645287936_n.jpg


10/1/19, 5:56 pm
Mike
You have to be as old as me to get this one. 
What do you call kittens in PJs? 

Cats in Jammas Kids.

In case you don't know, The episode of S.W.A.T that 
Chuck is in is on tomorrow night I believe at 10 o'clock 
your time on CBS. If you don't get CBS on your
television, I have a way you can stream it if you want to.

10/1/19, 6:37 pm
Allan
I don't have TV - how can I watch this?

Allan
I'm having a hard time understanding Cats in Jammas Kids..

Mike
Try: 
ustv247.tv/watch-cbs-live-stream/
CBS Live Stream - USTV247
ustv247.tv

Mike
Do you not remember "The Katzenjammer Kids"? 
It was a comic strip started in 1897 and was still 
being published in the funny papers when 
we were kids.

10/1/19, 9:24 pm
Allan
I897????? It sort of sounds familiar, but I don't 
think I ever read it! Well,maybe. Wow, I didn't 
know I could watch TV on my laptop!!! 
Thank you!!!

10/2/19, 3:00 pm
Mike


10/2/19, 3:39 pm
Allan


10/2/19, 6:52 pm
Mike
The great, great Brenda Lee:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yp8NghbrixA

Brenda Lee belts out an amazing 
version of Hurt
youtube.com

10/2/19, 7:32 pm
Allan
I love her to death. She was already famous 
when I was in 7th grade - and she's younger 
than I am!! I especially love her recoding of 
"The Big Four Poster Bed", by another hero,
Shel Silverstein. Sometimes I can't get the 
song out of my head for days!

Mike
Never herd of that song but I will take a listen.
Enter

10/3/19, 3:43 pm
Mike


10/3/19, 7:45 pm
Allan
Uh . . . should I be worried about you? 
Is there anything I can do to help?

10/3/19, 8:20 pm
Mike
I'm way beyond help! Can't you tell?

10/3/19, 11:10 pm
Allan
I'll send my prayers, then,

10/4/19, 5:58 pm
Mike
What is this: "I'll give you my calamari if you 
give me your shrimp cocktail."
Squid Pro Quo.


10/5/19, 12:24 pm
Mike


10/5/19, 12:58 pm
Mike
http://vimeo.com/364124459/c7d40b3457 
Chuck on S.W.A.T. My brother.

10/5/19, 11:16 pm
Mike
I'm watching Season 3 of Goliath on Amazon. 
It's really good. Wild and a little bizarre but good. 
Dennis Quaid is excellent.

10/6/19, 12:32 pm
Allan
Seriously? OK, I'll try it.

10/6/19, 2:11 pm
Mike
Sometimes I haven't liked Dennis Quaid's acting but 
he's playing a bad guy character really well in the series.

10/6/19, 3:41 pm
Allan
I've pretty much always liked the guy . . .

10/8/19, 7:44 pm
Mike
You have got to see Downton Abbey. I think 
it's one of the movies that grabbed me more 
than any movie I've seen in a very long time. 
It's amazing!

10/9/19, 4:26 pm
Allan
OK! When it has subtitles!

10/9/19, 5:08 pm
Mike
I think it will probably end up on Amazon 
Prime or Netflix soon. Its too bad you can't 
see it on the big screen. It's magnificent. 
Can you not enjoy a movie at a theater 
even with your hearing aides on?

10/10/19, 1:05 pm
Mike
Here's one not to be shared with anyone. 
Always remember: 
You can lead a whore to water. And you can 
make her drink it (after you've slapped her
around a few times).

10/10/19, 6:50 pm
Mike
Puzzle: 
Loves to play rapidly. 
Might make it on an Olympic team. 
Hinders the reading of documents. 
Loves polyurethane. 
What am I?

10/10/19, 7:39 pm
Allan
A faster tracker plastic redactor.

Mike
That was awesome Allan. Good one. 
But, it's actually only one word. 
You might be too old to know how 
the word is used in three of the hints.

Mike
Let me know if you give up. Your 
answer is way more creative than mine.

10/10/19, 11:34 pm
Mike
OK. The word is "shredder." An electric guitarist 
who plays fast is shredding. Snowboarders shred 
and snowboarding competitions are in the winter 
Olympics now. Skateboarders also shred and their 
wheels are made of polyurethane. And I don't have 
to explain hindering the reading of documents. 
So there you have it.

10/11/19, 12:07 pm
Allan
Well, you're right. I would NEVER have guessed that!

10/11/19, 5:21 pm
Mike

Why was the detective not fooled by the 
woman who disguised herself as a man? 
Because things appeared to be a miss.


10/11/19, 6:09 pm
Mike


10/11/19, 6:30 pm
Allan
OK, I'll never call you hourglass head. Peanut head.

Mike
You are really askin' for it.

Tenor GIF Keyboard

10/11/19, 11:17 pm
Mike

I absolutely love Chuck's new look.


10/12/19, 11:03 am
Mike

OMG! It's Rudy Julie Annie.

10/12/19, 11:28 am
Mike
Time and time again I prove to everyone I have way 
too much time on my hands. Just like the chef who 
spilled the seasoning all over himself. Too much 
thyme on his hands. 
I'm joking and I can't shut up. HELP!!
10/12/19, 1:45 pm


10/12/19, 4:02 pm
Allan
lol (lots of love!)

10/12/19, 4:31 pm
Mike
Glad to make you laugh.

10/14/19, 10:59 am
Mike

How do you tell comedian Carey to have 
some fast food and prosper? 

Thrive Drew 
At the Drive Thru.

10/17/19, 11:50 pm
Mike
Treat is not happy with Gracie. She got up on the back of 
my chair which is Treat's spot. So Treat started giving her 
the evil eye and then she jumped down off the chair and 
they started to rumble. I had to break it up by throwing 
a roll of paper towels at them. Things got a little tense 
there for a minute. There doesn't appear to be any hard 
feelings between them. Just a normal evening in the crib.



10/18/19, 6:46 am
Allan
It must be so interesting having room mates!
Enter

10/21/19, 2:20 pm
Mike

One of my cats got me while I was in bed this morning. 
They were chasing each other & I don't know who the offender was. 
My cats hate me.

Mike
10/24/19, 12:51 AM

I have a good one for you on Amazon Prime: "Silent Witness." 
Season 1, episode 2 is great. It doesn't hurt that the lead character 
is gorgeous. I think she is anyway.


10/24/19, 5:21 PM
Mike

Here's an easy one: What does President Trump and your 
pay before taxes have in common?
Enter

10/25/19, 9:57 pm
Mike
What kind of fast food do Siberian wolves like? 
Ham brrr grrr!


10/25/19, 11:14 pm
Allan
Grossness.

Allan
What's the wolf's favorite Allen Ginsberg poem?

10/26/19, 1:19 am
Mike
If I knew any of his poems I could maybe take an 
educated guess. Sadly, I don't have a clue

Mike
And you had the right answer of grossness. 
My answer was simply "Gross" but your answer works.
Good job.

10/28/19, 3:11 pm
Allan
It's clearly his most famous poem: 

https://www.howlnewyork.com/post/poets-
corner-howl-by-allen-ginsberg

Poets Corner: Howl by Allen Ginsberg
howlnewyork.com

10/30/19, 2:26 pm
Mike
Reply with a GIF

11/1/19, 4:47 pm
Allan
Hmmmm,. Do you recognize any of these people? 
http://artarchives.net/hmmm.html

artarchives.net

Mike
Yes!! You and some girls.

Mike McCollum sent you an invite to join Messenger.


11/2/19, 8:41 pm
Mike
Delivering food tonight. Chicago For Ribs 
established in 1952. Rancho Palos Verdes


LET'S GET READY TO RUUUMBLLLLE!!

11/3/19, 3:16 pm
Allan


11/3/19, 8:51 pm
Mike


11/4/19, 9:05 am
Allan
Wow.

11/7/19, 7:23 pm
Mike
Why did the guy refuse to drive 100 miles 
to pick up his false teeth? 
Because it was a bridge too far.


11/7/19, 9:25 pm
Mike
What do men do when their wives go to a Trump rally? 
They party till the cows come home.


11/7/19, 10:05 pm
Allan
He could always take a train, no? 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m5bhxXrrlg

https://educalingo.com/audio/en/189463.mp3
educalingo.com 

11/8/19, 11:40 am
Mike
Allan, those are hilarious responses to my riddle! 
You are so FUNNY! How did you find the tooth train? 
Too good!

And that's the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

Mike
11/8/19, 12:08 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-95QqBXLG2I&feature=share

On the lawn today Trump was sounding more and more like 
Humphrey Bogart in the court scene about who ate the strawberries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-95QqBXLG2I&feature=share

Caine Mutiny Queeg on the Stand
youtube.com

Mike
11/8/19, 4:03 pm


11/8/19, 5:03 pm
Allan
Laughing. Out. Loud.

11/8/19, 11:04 pm
Mike
Allan, if a house is for sale because an entire 
family was murdered there, is a real estate agent 
required to disclose that to prospective buyers?

Mike
Look how lazy Treat is.Why can't he drink his 
wate like a normal cat. He must be conserving is 
energy so he can terrorize me all night long.


11/9/19, 1:27 pm
Mike

We all know that german shepards are very smart. 
And, I heard about a guy who has a young german 
shepard so smart he learned to speak, and can 
converse with his master. How can this be?
Enter

11/9/19, 11:16 pm
Mike
What does every one and every thing on earth 
want at the moment it comes into existence? 
And, this is not a joke.

11/10/19, 1:59 pm
Allan
I don't understand things that are not jokes.

Mike
Oh, do I amuse you? Like a clown? You think 
I'm funny? Funny how? The way I look? 
You think I'm fuckin' here to amuse you? 
How am I funny? What the fuck is so funny 
about me? Tell me! Tell me what's funny!

Allan
LOL

Mike
Thanks.

Allan
You're welcome. 
https://store.moma.org/only-at-moma/new-moma/
visible-marker-thanks-object-by-allan-mccollum/146274.html

Visible Marker THANKS Object by Allan McCollum
store.moma.org 

Mike

Very cool. Just in time for Chtistmas. If a lot get 
sold and more are needed, will you be in charge of
making them? I've never seen one in that pill shape.

Allan
I wonder! Every time they sell one, I'm 
supposed to get 7%. The museum had 
them made in China. We didn't agree on 
any limit, etc. It's kind of fun for me! 
Although everyone in the art world may 
now think I've "sold out," haha. They 
engraved my signature in the back. MoMA 
is maybe the most notable "modern art" 
museum in the country! https://store.moma.org/
dw/image/v2/BBQC_PRD/on/demandware.static/-
/Sites-master-moma/default/dwda81499a/images/
146274_146275_146276_a.jpg"
store.moma.org

Mike
Who cares what anybody else thinks. Maybe this will 
be your retirement fund. Wouldn't that be absolutely great. 
And they can sell them all over the world right?

Mike
Is there a provision in your contract that you have 
the right to audit their books whenever you want to?

11/10/19, 3:03 pm
Allan
Haha, no . . .

I get $2.52 for each sale! So if they sell a million, 
I'll get $2,520,000! But probably they'll sell like 
600 or something!

11/10/19, 3:36 pm
Mike
I'm going to think they will sell way more than 600. 
How did you come up with 600?

Mike
Do you at least have the right to know how many are made? 
Would you like me to be your business consultant? I'm sure 
you are aware of my business acumen. Now I've got to finish 
cutting my prescription pills in half so they will last longer.

11/10/19, 8:06 pm
Allan
I totally trust the museum! Anyway, I didn't really get into it 
for the money. It just makes me feel good, and maybe helps 
people remember who I am as an artist. I've done many versions 
of this "Visible Marker" idea, and never for money. 
The first time I did an edition, I gave 100 of them away!

Mike
You gave me one of your big ones. And, maybe a set of small ones.
I bought some small ones and gave them to every one in my office 
one Christmas. They were popular around the office that year.

Allan
Wow!

11/11/19, 2:50 pm
Mike

You forgot to answer my German Shepherd riddle, 
so here's the answer: 

The answer is simple. The master owns a sheep farm 
& his servant that watched over the sheep was German.
German shepherd. Get it? GOT YA!!

11/12/19, 11:19 pm
Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Yhe9tXoDO8&feature=share

DoorDash Delivery Driver Takes Drink of 
Customers Milkshake, Caught on Camera
youtube.com

Mike
I assure you that's not me.

11/13/19, 1:01 am
Allan

Apparently posting this would now be illegal in Texas. 
https://www.insider.com/unsolicited-dick-pic-sending-
now-illegal-texas-500-fine-bumble-2019-9

11/13/19, 7:16 pm
Mike
[un-downloadable sound]
0:40
My latest original song: "Pupil Haze."

11/14/19, 11:26 am
Mike
So if I'm in Texas and someone asks me to send 
them a picture of my beautiful penis, I won't get 
arrested if I do? And, of course, I get asked for 
that regularly. But, if I send one without being asked, 
I'm going to prison? But, what if a free-thinking 
woman sends me unsolicited naked photos of her? 
Is she in trouble too? Or just us virile studs?

Mike
And, Anthony Weiner better not come within 
1,000 miles of Texas!

11/14/19, 12:33 pm
Allan
 

11/14/19, 5:13 pm
Mike
My idea of a perfect phone call: Hello how ya doin'? 
Great! You? Great! Bye now. Bye.

11/14/19, 11:09 pm
Allan
I didn't realize you were as sociophobic as I am.

11/15/19, 6:39 pm
Mike
Chuck and Allan, I have not written yet or contacted Polly. 
I will write to her soon. Have either of you? I texted condolences
to Abigail, but that's all.

11/17/19, 11:13 am
Mike
Why was the penthouse nightclub so hard to compete with? 
They set the bar high.
75550320_460142197966490_3090053069086392320_n.jpg


11/17/19, 11:54 am
Allan
Makes sense. People go into bars to get high.

You replied to Mike
Original message: Chuck and Allan, I have not
written yet or contacted Polly. I will write...

I haven't either...

11/17/19, 12:23 pm
Mike
It makes sense also because they're closer to the pink clouds.


Why should you go to the ER if your cat scratches you? 
Its claws for concern.

11/17/19, 2:26 pm
Allan
Me? Yow!

Mike
Good one but can we paws the puns for a while?

Allan
Great idea. Purrfect.

11/17/19, 4:37 pm
Mike

more mincing words. Why do Repugnicans have such 
a hard time telling the truth? It's hard to tell anything 
when you can't breathe cuz your nose is so far up 
President Trump's giant, fat ass!

11/18/19, 11:05 am
Mike
Yesterday it got up to 88ß here. This morning I 
woke up and I said to myself "man it's warm in 
here already." I walked in the kitchen and I had 
left one of the burners on all fricken night. 
Shael told me to remember this: "Don't let the 
old man in." Good advice.

11/18/19, 11:34 am
Allan
Yikes, Mike.

11/18/19, 12:01 pm
Mike
YIKES Is right!

11/18/19, 12:58 pm
Mike
Dont let the old man in.


11/18/19, 8:08 pm
Mike
My new joke: When people ask me what I do, 
I tell them I'm a food and beverage manager. 
I manage to eat and drink all food and beverage 
in sight. I'm not sure if my jokes are getting 
stronger or weaker. 
Don't answer that.

Allan


11/18/19, 11:25 pm
Mike


11/19/19, 2:56 pm
Mike
The City spends millions of dollars for beautification 
across the street from me. And here's what we get. 
In case you can't read the graffiti, it says, "Fuck a fake 
bitch." So special. This is San Pedro.


11/20/19, 12:12 pm
Mike
What was Trump's response when asked about Rudy Giuliani's 
role in the Ukraine scandal? "Rudy Giuliwho?"


Mike

I made a life- changing decision today. I joined the Mafia.

11/22/19, 4:53 pm
Mike
"OK boys and girls. Let's all line up and get our daily, 
morning slap in the face. We all know you're going to 
screw up at some point today, so let's get it over 
with first thing


11/22/19, 10:35 pm
Mike
Did my newest email to you work? This is the gallery that 
is owned by a woman who really likes your work. She was 
very aware of you before I met her.

Mike
Hi Allan. I can't remember if you have Netflix but if you do 
a movie called The Gift is really good if you've never seen it. 
It's right up our alley for movies. I even like Keaanu Reeves 
acting in it which normally I don't.

11/23/19, 12:10 am
Allan
I've always loved Keanu Reeves! 
So I'll watch it. Thanks

And no, there wasn't any way to access that list of 
artists you tried to send . . .

I just watched all 8 episodes of "Unbelievable,"
on Netflix. Really good.

11/23/19, 12:30 am
Mike
I just finished it too. Really good. 3 days ago. I had never 
seen the issue of rape and what a woman goes through 
afterwards portrayed like it was in that series. 
It was really an eye opener.

It wasn't a list of artists it was a show that's ending Sunday t
hat I think included 3 artists. One of the photos reminded me 
of your art. I'm surprised because I ended up cutting and pasting 
the page into an email and sent that to you. Have you checked 
your email lately?

11/23/19, 12:50 pm
Mike


11/23/19, 5:14 pm
Mike

Finally! Proof positive I'm being abused by 
my disrespectful cats!

11/23/19, 5:43 pm
Mike

Hes so mean to me.

11/25/19, 1:03 pm
Mike
72471320_943333566040636_7477716445212704768_n.gif

Here's a couple I just made up:
If you've never used the word, "boomer," you're probably 
a boomer. 
If you've never heard the expression, "OK boomer," 
you're probably a boomer.

Technically you might not be a Boomer. You were born 
before the war ended. But people that use the term "OK 
Boomer" probly don't care exactly when you were born,
you'e just too old to be current with anything.
Enter

11/25/19, 5:48 pm
Allan
Technically I'm a "War Baby."
That's why when girls pass me in the street, they say, "Hey, baby."

Mike
It doesn't matter what you're called. 
People born after 1964 think you're clueless.

Allan
Oh.
I guess they think that because I'm not obsessed 
with some sort of cell phone in my hand.

Mike
But you do you use social media. That's a start.

Allan
Facebook is only for old people. You didn't know that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo0KjdDJr1c

A Millennial Job Interview
youtube.com

Mike
Oh-My-God Allan that was absolutely hilarious 
and right on point. You are a fast Internet researcher. 
Those actors were really good too. I think they 
both played their parts perfectly. Thank you for 
the good belly laugh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed-5Zzdbx0E&feature=share
A Millenial vs A Baby Boomer
youtube.com

I just saw another hilarious one

TEST: Those thinking some words aren't presidential: 
Shit! Why don't you chickenshit, assholes that were 
born fucked up, and full of bullshit, just fucking move 
to a shitty, cowshit, and shithole place like Haiti.
Fuck yeah, you dumb fuck! 
Who publicly communicates that way?

11/25/19, 6:53 pm
Mike
Allan every one of those words & expressions are 
expressions Trump has used in his tweets. I found 
a website that lists tweets & retweets that Trump 
has made using those exact word swear words and 
expressions. It's funny to me to see them all together.

11/25/19, 7:52 pm
Mike
Allan are you familiar with the country singer 
named Gene Watson? Here's a video of a live 
performance and wait till the end because it 
will blow you away He is one of best country 
singers ever in my view.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqVaN_YUOW8&feature=share">

Gene Watson - Farewell Party
youtube.com

11/25/19, 8:12 pm
Allan
Huh! I never knew about this singer! Thanks!

11/25/19, 8:27 pm
Allan
What a sad song.Here's a recording 
by the fellow who wrote the song in 1960: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KoSva8fdnU
Lawton Williams - Farewell Party
youtube.com 

11/26/19, 3:39 pm
Mike
Why were the autopsy observers so appalled when the coroner 
fumbled the cadaver's mandibles? It was jaw dropping!
77304814_578553036292553_2633268269066223616_n.jpg


11/26/19, 4:19 pm
Allan
He can't handle the tooth.

Mike
Excellent!

Allan
 

Mike

What did the sisters sing when they moved far away from 
their aunt's cattle ranch? 
It's a long long way from auntie's ox Sis, but we all 
came from there!

Very few people outside of our family and some 
old folkies would get that joke

11/26/19, 5:57 pm
Allan
hahahaha!!!!!

Allan
What did the jealous gay man say about his next-door 
neighbor who was about to have a penectomy? 
Who ever should have a good penis and giveth 
his neighbor none
- then he can't have any of my good penis 
when his good penis is gone.

11/26/19, 6:58 pm
Mike
Can I watch?


Mike
I sent you my answer before I read your answer but 
your answer is funny as hell. I'll bet Uncle Sam would 
be very pleased to know we are still getting to have 
fun with his songs. Now I have to think of another one.

Allan
What did the man who always needed a drink 
after he mowed his lawn name the song he 
wrote about it? The bar 'n' yard song.

Mike
Good one

What song did the guy sing about his pot plants in
every room of his house? 

And the green grass 
grew all around all around. And the green grass 

Allan


Mike
What did Monica Lewinsky decide to do when she wanted 
to break it off with the president? 
Tell Old Bill.

Knock knock 
Who's there? Shelby. 
Shelby who?
Shelby comin' there lmountain when she comes.

Allan
groan!!

Allan
What did the son name the song he wrote telling his 
father to behave obsequiously in the hope of gaining 
someone's favor? 

The "Crawl, Dad" song.

Allan
How does one describe one's grandfather who stays 
by himself in his house? 

Old Man at Home.

Allan
How did the man describe his resistance to longing 
for a budweiser? 

I just don't want a beer itch.

11/26/19, 7:48 pm
Mike
A beer itch. Excellent. Instead of his "resistance" 
how about his allergy to beer.

Mike
How did the man decsribe his allergy to Budweiser.

11/26/19, 9:41 pm
Allan
I don't know if you'd be interested in this 
weird hobby of mine. it started when I taught 
a class at M.I.T in Boston for one year. When 
I found something interesting to read, I'd copy 
it, re-format it into a Word document, save 
it as a PDF, and then put it on line to ecommend 
it to students. But then, after that odd period 
in my life, I kept doing it! Formatting and 
uploading articles etc. that I found interesting; 
and sometimes I sent the links to friends, or study 
its I meet, whatever. One of the weirdest articles 
I read was about "itching." So I put it online. 
You may or ay not find it interesting, haha. 
http://allanmccollum.net/allanmcnyc/textpdfs/The_Itch.pdf
allanmccollum.net

11/26/19, 10:11 pm
Mike
I will watch it at some point Allan. The only 
scientific knowledge I ever heard about itching 
was: scratch it if it itches Even if it's in your britches.

Mike
I just put it on my computer. Is there a 
CliffNotes version of it?

11/27/19, 12:07 am
Allan
LOL, I doubt that. It was just an article in the 
New Yorker. Yeah, it's bit long! But the part 
about the mirror solution was really interesting, 
I thought.

11/27/19, 10:26 am
Mike
I'll take a look.

Mike
I just learned how to block somebody 
on messenger without blocking them on 
Facebook. It's really easy. There was 
a guy I dont think I know or knew who 
just sent messaged every freakin day but 
they were global texts not just personally 
to me. Bye bye Stephen, whoever's you are.

11/27/19, 6:35 pm
Mike

Reporter: President Trump the public wants to 
know why you spent hundreds of thousands of 
dollars of public money on large streamlined 
coaches for your staff? "Very simple. When
one bus gets too full underneath, I always 
have a new replacement on hand.

11/28/19, 9:56 am
Mike
What animal literally invites us to consume it? 
And I hope you don't need another hint to solve
this one. HAPPY THANKS GIVING EVERYONE!
 Gobble Gobble


11/29/19, 5:41 pm
Mike

Why did the guy get nervous as he exited the Chinese restaurant? 

He sensed someone woking behind him.

11/29/19, 6:27 pm
Allan
lol!

Mike
Thanks!

11/30/19, 10:38 pm
Mike
Gotta good one for you on Netflix. "Dirty John." 
I'm on the 4th, maybe 5th episode.

12/1/19, 1:15 pm
Mike
What is it called when a dancing hillbilly hooker falls? 
Hodown.


12/1/19, 4:00 pm
Allan
hahaha

12/2/19, 11:26 pm
Mike

Can you tell who this little girl is?

12/3/19, 12:30 am
Allan
I have no idea. Melissa Tucker?

12/3/19, 2:06 am
Mike
Scarlet Johansson

12/3/19, 10:26 am
Allan
Wow! Amazing!

12/8/19, 9:46 pm
Mike
How is this for a movie opening? 2 guys hunting in 
Scotland. One of them accidentally shoots a little 
boy out in the forest he's aiming for a deer. Then 
the father comes & finds his dead little boy and 
points a rifle at the guy that accidentally shot him. 
Then that guys mate shot the father. Now they've 
hid their bodies in the bushes and are running out
of the forest totally in panic mode. 
It's called "Calibre."

12/8/19, 10:03 pm
Allan
Ewe. And you didn't even make that up.

Mike
It's good! Suspensful.

Allan
ok. but ewe!

Mike
As if you wouldn't watch a movie like that. 
So hypocritical.

Mike
There's a good horror series on Netflix 
I think you would like. 
"The Haunting of Hill House."

12/8/19, 10:43 pm
Allan
Yes!! I watched every episode of that! Here are
some of my Netflix recommendations: 
The OA
Stranger Things 
Ozark 
Money Heist

Mike
Thanks Allan. I've seen Ozark & Stranger Things. 
I don't think I've seen the other two. But I will now.

Allan
I totally loved OA. I hope you do too.

12/8/19, 11:03 pm
Mike
Thanks.

12/9/19, 4:15 pm
Mike
I'm gonna watch OA next. I watched 
a preview & it looks good.

12/12/19, 5:45 pm
Mike
I had already watched The OA whole series. 
I just had not remembered the name. I remember 
that the scene in the series of the shooting 
brought tears to my eyes. I got really emotional
and I watched that scene many times. 
It was a great series.

12/12/19, 6:02 pm
Mike
My Omron BP monitor stopped working. Here is 
my new wrist BP monitor. I haven't used it yet.
I'm going to read the instructions first.


12/12/19, 6:38 pm
Mike
Allan the BP monitor text was supposed to be for Lina. 
But, I don't mind if you see it. Love, Mike

12/13/19, 1:37 am
Allan
!! Is a BP monitor to measure Blood Pressure?? 
Or Battery Pack? Boiling Point? Brad Pitt? 
Body Part? Baked Potato?

Allan
Mike, are you OK?
Why do you need to monitor your blood pressure?

12/13/19, 2:42 am
Mike
I've been monitoring my blood pressure for many 
years. I have had high blood pressure for a very 
long time but I don't have it anymore since my 
bypass surgery. But I still monitor it once in a 
while. Someone needs to monitor Brad Pitt, 
but not me.

12/13/19, 1:20 pm
Allan
Haha Ok, sounds good!

12/14/19, 6:12 pm
Mike


12/15/19, 8:29 pm
Mike
Why do some mothers, fathers and children all get 
diarrhea at the same time? Runs in the family. 
That was a little gross.

12/15/19, 8:51 pm
Mike
Just be thankful I didn't send an image 
to go along with that one.

12/16/19, 3:09 pm
Mike
Look how grown up Amelia looks now.



12/16/19, 3:46 pm
Allan
Wow.

12/17/19, 8:09 pm
Mike


12/19/19, 1:04 am
Allan
 -1


12/20/19, 10:29 am
Mike
Surrogates at the police station!!


12/21/19, 12:33 pm
Mike
I am not happy with Wikipedia. I paid them a little over a week 
ago $3 because they're blocking the page and are requesting 
payment. I've paid them in the past also. Now every time I try 
to open it they want money and even though I've paid they're 
still blocking the information. How much are we supposed to 
pay for Wikipedia which you really can't even rely on for true 
information?

I should have said we can't rely on it for accurate information.

12/21/19, 10:50 pm
Allan
Huh????

Mike
Sometimes Wikipedia pressures us readers 
or money. That's all I was trying to say.

12/21/19, 11:36 pm
Mike
Hi Allan. I told you about a series called 
"Silent Witness" on Amazon. I just watched 
episode 1 and 2 of season 4 and it is really, 
really good. foral Very dramatic and a very 
good story. You should watch it. 
Both parts 1 and 2.

Mike
Amazon is also advertising a new series 
they're coming out with I think in 2020 
with Al Pacino and it's called "Hunters.* 
I think it's going to be about Nazi hunters 
and I'll bet it's going to be really good.

12/22/19, 8:34 pm
Allan
Only two of these are my Surrogates. 
And they're installed sideways!!


12/22/19, 11:12 pm
Mike
I see that now.

12/24/19, 11:08 am
Mike


12/28/19, 8:30 pm
Mike

Look how beautiful Judge Judy was as a young woman! 
She looks like a movie star.

12/29/19, 1:08 am
Mike

Why can't oral surgeons be trusted? Because they always want to shoot 
their patients up with drugs and then pull something on them!

Allan
The tooth or the whole tooth?

12/30/19, 4:30 pm
Mike
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH!!

12/30/19, 6:07 pm
Allan


12/31/19, 12:22 pm
Mike

Look at my new pillow case. I needed one so I found this on sale online. 
I didn't know it was so girly with frills around it. Oh well. I've made 
worse mistakes in my life. Z
Enter

12/31/19, 2:51 pm
Allan


12/31/19, 3:48 pm
Mike forwarded a message
You'll like this one. Too funny.

12/31/19, 4:44 pm
Allan
When you don't post anything, even when 
you say I'll like it, 
I can't figure out how to like it!

Mike
Just giving you a heads up that it's gonna be something you like. 
I meant to send it but apparently I forgot.
Forwarded a message
Attachment Unavailable
Reply with a GIF

1/1/20, 12:04 am
Mike
I know you're with the giant crowd in Time Square! You are such a party animal!!


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